A Tribute to Stick Figure Guy

I would like to pay a special tribute at this time to a friend.  He is hero of sorts.  But the poor guy has one of the worst jobs in the world – he demonstrates all the horrendous things that could happen to the rest of us if we are not careful.  He is the universal Stick Figure Guy.  This guy is like a mix between Martin Short and Evel Knievel.  Many adventures, but they NEVER go well for him.

You might have seen him around.  He can be found around machinery, cleaning supplies, and just about anywhere where something can go wrong.

You might say he is always at the wrong place at the wrong time.  If something goes wrong, he’s there – in fact, he’s in it.  He’s the victim.  Always.

Let’s look at some examples:

danger-beware-of-glass

Somehow, Stick Figure Guy managed to… trip?  For some reason he had his arms behind his back as he went down, too.  I suppose the trip wouldn’t have been so bad if there didn’t happen to be a massive glass wall in his path.  Or was he playing football and mistook his reflection in a misplaced giant mirror for the guy he’s supposed to be blocking.  If so, he forgot his helmet.

caution-dancer-present1

I think Stick Figure Guy should have seen it coming this time.  Stand three feet from a dance who is doing high kicks.  And with the zoom lines we are clearly inflormed that he was struck at point-blank range.  What I can’t help wondering is why the dancer is wearing particularly large shoes.  Maybe it was for the photo-shoot, but if so, it’s sure another manifestation of poor timing on Stick Figure Guy’s part.

fire

Oh, man.  I’d like to know how Stick Figure Guy got himself into this one.  But apparently he forgot the stop, drop, and role.  Of course, once the matches inside the matchbox catch, I’m not sure the floor will be a safe place either.  I think the pyromania thing started long before this experience.

danger-use-knife-with-caution

Well, he may have made it through the other experiences, but poor Stick Figure Guy is in over his head on this one.  How’s he going to create his next sign, “Warning, Stove is Hot,” without limbs?  I guess he could burn his face on the stove.  Or if he did a closeup, he could just set his disembodied hand on the stove and not mention the fact that it is no longer connected to his body.  I suppose he may lose his job – and I can’t imagine any insurance company who would even consider helping out Stick Figure Guy, with all the trouble he gets in.

Therefore, I’ve found a way to support poor Stick Figure Guy.  Buy his shirts.  Just click on one of the pictures above and you will be taken to a whole new world where you can display the heroic Stick Figure Guy for the world to see.  Let’s not let Stick Figure Guy be forgotten!

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7 Replies to “A Tribute to Stick Figure Guy”

  1. “Delimbination”?! Hilarious!

    Don’t forget the caution for dropping the curling iron/hair dryer in the bathtub while bathing…

    or the caution for sticking the earphones plug into the electrical outlet..

    or the caution for holding onto the crane hook for too long while it is rising..

    or the caution for building sandcastles in the dirt streets in Africa while missionary cars are driving through..

    or the caution for adopting excessively loud roosters to keep in your backyard..

    or the caution for putting your head entirely inside a latex glove..

    or the caution for using garbage bags as parachutes..

    or the caution for hiding in the clothes dryer for hide-and-go-seek when mom decides to do laundry..

    or the caution for sticking your hand in the running blender..

    or the caution for feeding the sharks by hand..

    or the caution for swimming with the jellyfish..

    or the caution for Red Rover with a squad of military tanks on the other team..

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