If You had Giraffe Neck

If You had a Giraffe Neck

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a neck like a giraffe?  You can still have every other part of you normal – just a reeeeeeeally long neck.  That’s what I was discussing with my Dad, Mom, and Jenni today.
So think about it.  What would it mean to have a long neck like a giraffe.  The average giraffe is about 18 feet tall, so let’s say your neck is long enough to make you 18 feet tall.  What would that mean?

  • You’d need a tall house – with vaulted ceilings and probably only one floor.  Probably 18 foot tall doorways, too, so you don’t get a crick in your neck every time you pass through one.
  • You’d need a super tall table, and you’d have to eat without hands – since they can’t reach the top of the table.  The alternative would be to bend your neck almost into a full circle to reach your hands – which a giraffe can’t do.  You might need some kind of dumb-waiter to get your food to the top of the table.
  • You’d need an interesting car – perhaps a spout out the top with a beaker-like shell as a wind-shield.  The dashboard dials would have to project on the widow of the beaker.  Also, the beaker would have to eject in an accident, and you’re airbag would have to be on the front bumper, about where the hood ornament would normally be.
  • You’d have to wear massive shoes to keep balance.  Otherwise you’d tip over every time you bent your neck.
  • People would assume that you’d be good at basketball, but your arms can’t reach any higher than normal.  You could figure out a way to suction the ball to your mouth, but then your aim would be like being on a second story balcony trying to spit on someone’s head.  If you tried to tip your neck to dunk it, you’d have to do it from the 3 point line – but you’d have to be careful not to smack your head on the backboard.  Plus goal-tending would be painful.
  • You’d need binocular glasses in order to read or use a laptop – and the laptop would have to be able to lay flat.
  • You’d be a nuisance at a movie theater or sporting event.
  • You’d always have to talk down to people – and shout for them to hear you.
  • You’d have a pretty good overhead view outside, but you’d have to avoid getting clothes-lined by power lines.  You’d get sick of the question, “How’s the view?”
  • You’d never be able to work on the underside of a car.
  • You’d have to use trees to scratch your nose and comb your hair.

Hmmm…

Any other things that you can think of that would happen if you had a giraffe neck?

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