Why I Still Don’t Support Gay Marriage

Of all the entries I’ve done on this site, I think none have evoked such differing opinions as Why I Do Not Support Gay Marriage. I wasn’t surprised, especially since I posted it in the middle of the whole prop 8 campaign. New comments pop up every once in a while, and the most recent came up this morning. Actually, the commenter posted three comments. You’ll have to view the original post to see his comments, since they’re too long to post on this entry, but they can be read at http://blog.chashathaway.com/why-i-do-not-support-gay-marriage/

Anyway, I thought I’d blog my response to his comments. I’m glad conversation is taking place on the subject. It needs to be addressed.


I understand what you are saying, and I don’t expect you to simply believe what I’ve said. I’m not making a political argument, though the gay marriage issue has become quite political. I am making a spiritual statement – sharing what I believe, and why I believe it. I do not believe gay marriage is right, and I believe that those who engage in homosexual behavior will one day come to regret it, whether in this life or the next. I don’t say this to convince you, but simply to tell you why I feel the way I do.

I also understand why you would say that I can believe what I want and that I should let others believe as they want. That makes sense. But from my point of view, watching a person take a glass of water which I know to be poisoned will still prompt me to act, even if the person doesn’t know me and believes they are acting in complete safety. Nor do I expect the person to automatically believe me that there really is poison in the water – especially if they are terribly thirsty.

If I were to believe what I do, and not speak out, I would be a hypocrite. Incidentally, I am just as concerned about the problems in straight marriages. The divorce rates reflect a great deal of trouble in the world. I am not one who would want divorce to be unavailable, but some of the problems that are leading to divorce are serious, and can’t be lightly ignored. Adultery, abuse, pornography, and cruelty are all major problems, and will lead to regret just as surely as homosexuality.

You are right in saying that living the law of Moses is no longer expected of us. Jesus Christ fulfilled the law and gave us a higher law. But even with the few verses in the New Testament that speak out against homosexuality, the real source of what God wants of us today comes through modern revelation, given to living prophets, and confirmed in the hearts of individuals world-wide. Again, I don’t expect everyone who reads this to automatically believe what I’m saying, but I know that God speaks to living prophets, and the prophets have made it unmistakeably clear that homosexuality is wrong, and that marriage can only be right if it is between a man and a woman.

The prophets are not putting words in Gods mouth. God has commanded His living prophets to teach these things. I am sharing what the prophets have said, and what I know to be true. I realize that many people will be offended by what I say. That’s okay. But I can’t let it go unsaid. I can’t stop people from drinking poison, but I’ll do all I can to warn them. I will also vote to keep the poison illegal, but ultimately people have their own choices.

It’s okay that we disagree on the issue. I understand your point of view, and I hope you can understand mine.

– Chas

Why I Do Not Support Gay Marriage

This life is not the beginning of our existence, and death is not the end of it. In fact, this life is a very short part of our eternal existence.

It is an eternal principle that family consists of a man and a woman with their children. It is also an eternal principle that every man has always been a man, and every woman has always been a woman. Likewise, every man will always be a man, and every woman will always be a woman.

The few occasions where there is a physical defect in which a baby is born with either no sexual organs or both male and female organs does not change the eternal identity of that child, which includes his or her gender.

Gender is part of our eternal identity, and according to eternal principles, marriage is to be between a man and a woman. No other combination is a marriage in the eternal sense, and therefore no other combination can last forever. No matter what the government decrees, that eternal principle will not change.

For those who live a life in accordance with eternal principles, a simple mortal marriage is the seed that grows into an eternal marriage in the next life. No other seed will grow into an eternal marriage. There is no way for it to happen. Just as a pebble planted and watered cannot grow, a marriage between two people of the same gender cannot grow into an eternal marriage, and will end with death.

The sad part about this is that those who are in such marriages do not realize that the end result of their choice is only suffering. Part of that suffering will come when they realize that what they once thought of as an inborn orientation was only a mortal challenge that ends with death.

Many people think their tendencies are part of their identity, and ever will be. They think their attraction to their own gender is part of who they are.

Certainly such tendencies have a great impact on them. Certainly they lead to almost unbearable longings that seem like they can only be relieved by either sin or death. Certainly this is a trial that can seem insurmountable.

But this life is not intended to be easy. Our trials are intended to help us realize the extent of our potential. We will never know how strong we are until we face our biggest challenges and overcome them.

The agency and choices of the individual are stronger than life itself with ALL its inherent challenges.

Someone who faces the trial of same gender attraction faces a difficult trial – perhaps even comparable to the trials faced by someone who is quadriplegic, or someone who has lost every person that they ever cared for, or someone living on the streets with mental illness.

Gratefully, God has provided that all of these people, by living faithful to His commandments and enduring their trials well, can in the next life receive every blessing denied them in this short life. For those who are truly faithful to God, these blessings will be accompanied by more and greater blessings than they can now imagine. There is no suffering in this life that will not be well compensated for in the next life if we are simply willing to follow the commandments of God.

Some feel that God will accept them the way that they are, and that He will love them and bless them with all the blessings He has to offer regardless of who they marry. But God doesn’t break His own laws. He teaches the eternal, unchanging principles, and allows His children to choose whether or not to follow them. He even allows them the freedom of choice whether or not to believe them. But He does not remove the eternal consequences of those choices.

To anyone, anywhere that is in a same gender relationship, I plead with you: consider the eternal nature of life. Consider that the way you see things now is not the way you will always see things. The way you feel now is not the way you’ll always feel. You may have tendencies and attraction towards people of your gender. You do not have to act on those feelings. Know that in time, if only in the next life, those feelings will pass, and if you have followed the Lord’s commandments, the true and eternal nature of attraction will return to you. That may seem impossible to you now, but it’s true. Your power of choice is stronger than your tendencies.

I am not suggesting that you marry someone of the opposite gender in hopes that you will someday be attracted to them. I am suggesting that you stay close to the Lord and He will be with you. If you stay close to Him, He will guide you and give you all the help you need.

If my desire to save people from suffering can be called intolerant, so be it. If it is bigotry to make an effort to establish laws that the same people will someday be grateful for, I guess I’m a bigot. But I won’t just look the other way while people hurt themselves. And in this case, those who try to redefine marriage may also be hurting generations to come.

Read the follow up entry on this topic