Fun with Telemarketers 6: Eleven Cent Rebate

I have to give this guy credit.  It took me about five minutes to get my recorder up and running, all the while he was just waiting.  I had to get him to start his schpeel while I rebooted the program. Then he stayed on the phone for a good fifteen minutes or so after that.  I’m surprised he didn’t catch on when I asked him if they do Hot-dog delivery.  But when I demonstrated that I am interested in what he is trying to sell me, I found a way to get him to offer me an eleven cent rebate… well… sort of.

You have to listen at the very end – after I hang up.  I think the guy’s cough is a cover for his laughter.  I’m quite sure I made his day.

Fun with Telemarketers 5: Trouble with Turtle Tails

Booyah!!!

They FINALLY called again!  Those wonderful telemarketer friends of mine, oh, how I love it when they call.  As with most of the other times, this was totally adlib – which is kind of obvious as I bumble at the beginning with useless displays of idiocy.  But when the kids started crying in the background, it sparked an idea…

Enjoy!

Monday Pick-Me-Up:Muppets with Cabin Fever

Anyone who hasn’t seen Muppet Treasure Island is missing out on a treasure indeed!  All in all, probably the best Muppet movie yet.

The most pointless (and thus probably the best) part of the show is when the wind stops, the sun beats down, and the whole crew of pirates comes down with cabin fever.

Enjoy!  Oh, and just for you random Portuguese speakers, there are subtitles for you on this version.  Have to love Youtube!

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The “Join the Navy” Mystery

This is a home video my friends and family did together many years ago, and it’s one of my favorites.  General Stickybun is a general in the U.S. Navy, trying to prepare the world to go to war against Iraq.  But at the same time, there are some random murders taking place.  Can the murderer be discovered before… well, you’ll just have to watch the show.

My role is the annoying TAPS player.  Incidentally, I really was playing as best I could, and did better in the video than I usually do.

Thanks to my sister, Shelly, for editing and posting this on Youtube!

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A Tribute to Stick Figure Guy

I would like to pay a special tribute at this time to a friend.  He is hero of sorts.  But the poor guy has one of the worst jobs in the world – he demonstrates all the horrendous things that could happen to the rest of us if we are not careful.  He is the universal Stick Figure Guy.  This guy is like a mix between Martin Short and Evel Knievel.  Many adventures, but they NEVER go well for him.

You might have seen him around.  He can be found around machinery, cleaning supplies, and just about anywhere where something can go wrong.

You might say he is always at the wrong place at the wrong time.  If something goes wrong, he’s there – in fact, he’s in it.  He’s the victim.  Always.

Let’s look at some examples:

danger-beware-of-glass

Somehow, Stick Figure Guy managed to… trip?  For some reason he had his arms behind his back as he went down, too.  I suppose the Continue reading

Fun with Telemarketers 4: Chum Buddies

Hooda thunk?  My old buddy from high school called!  Okay, so he thought I thought he was an old buddy…

Anyway, enjoy!

Tribute: I Love You, Mom!

Tis the season to feel guilty,
falalalalaaaa-la-la-la-la.
Mourning that the house is filthy,
falalalalaaaa-la-la-la-la.
Screaming kids and lazy father,
falala-lalala-la-la-la.
Makes me wonder why I bother,
falalalala-la-la-la-laaaaa!

Now that mother’s day’s approaching,
falalalalaaaa-la-la-la-la.
Listen to the old-folks’ coaching,
falalalalaaaa-la-la-la-la.
Think of all your rotten mistakes
falala-lalala-la-la-la.
Work, and just ignore the back-aches
falalalala-la-la-la-laaaaa!

Spare me.

Every year I hear the wonderful things about mothers, and I love it, but every year I hear mothers complain because it makes them feel so terribly inadequate.
I think it’s sad that mothers hearing about how wonderful mothers are makes them feel guilty.  Of course they feel inadequate!  They’re are inadequate.
Has any mother really been adequate to Continue reading