I Live in a Mansion

moon

talltab1I live in a mansion.  There are so many rooms, and so many doors, that it would take more than a lifetime to explore what is in them all.  From one room, I can explore the sciences, and watch the progression of the stars and planets.  I can chart the known universe and discover things that it has taken mankind centuries to understand.
talltab1 From another, I can learn the religions of the world, make connections with things divine, and come to a deeper understanding of why people are the way they are.
talltab1 From another, I can become my own symphony, and follow the practices of the master composers.  I can perfect the principles they have learned and carry them on to new levels.
talltab1 There is a room in my house where I can practice medicine and learn how the human body works.  In this room, I can also learn how to strengthen the powers within my own body through exercise, activity, proper nutrition and rest.
talltab1 In one of the larger wings of my mansion, I can enter a fantastic world with creatures and people that most people only meet in dreams and movies.  I can converse with them, and in essence, leave the world entirely through time machines and spaceships.
talltab1 I have rooms that bare the perfect resemblance of locations all around the globe.  I have been to Egypt, China, South America, and Africa without having to leave my home.
talltab1 In my favorite room, I have met the Savior and His prophets.  I have come to know God, and converse with Him regularly.  I have met Adam, Enoch, Abraham, and John the Baptist.  I have met the reformers and those who took part in the great restoration of the Gospel.
talltab1 I have visited many of the rooms in my mansion, and plan to visit many more.

talltab1 My house is small, and my means are meager.  But in every room, there are books.

If You had Giraffe Neck

If You had a Giraffe Neck

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a neck like a giraffe?  You can still have every other part of you normal – just a reeeeeeeally long neck.  That’s what I was discussing with my Dad, Mom, and Jenni today.
So think about it.  What would it mean to have a long neck like a giraffe.  The average giraffe is about 18 feet tall, so let’s say your neck is long enough to make you 18 feet tall.  What would that mean?

  • You’d need a tall house – with vaulted ceilings and probably only one floor.  Probably 18 foot tall doorways, too, so you don’t get a crick in your neck every time you pass through one.
  • You’d need a super tall table, and you’d have to eat without hands – since they can’t reach the top of the table.  The alternative would be to bend your neck almost into a full circle to reach your hands – which a giraffe can’t do.  You might need some kind of dumb-waiter to get your food to the top of the table.
  • You’d need an interesting car – perhaps a spout out the top with a beaker-like shell as a wind-shield.  The dashboard dials would have to project on the widow of the beaker.  Also, the beaker would have to eject in an accident, and you’re airbag would have to be on the front bumper, about where the hood ornament would normally be.
  • You’d have to wear massive shoes to keep balance.  Otherwise you’d tip over every time you bent your neck.
  • People would assume that you’d be good at basketball, but your arms can’t reach any higher than normal.  You could figure out a way to suction the ball to your mouth, but then your aim would be like being on a second story balcony trying to spit on someone’s head.  If you tried to tip your neck to dunk it, you’d have to do it from the 3 point line – but you’d have to be careful not to smack your head on the backboard.  Plus goal-tending would be painful.
  • You’d need binocular glasses in order to read or use a laptop – and the laptop would have to be able to lay flat.
  • You’d be a nuisance at a movie theater or sporting event.
  • You’d always have to talk down to people – and shout for them to hear you.
  • You’d have a pretty good overhead view outside, but you’d have to avoid getting clothes-lined by power lines.  You’d get sick of the question, “How’s the view?”
  • You’d never be able to work on the underside of a car.
  • You’d have to use trees to scratch your nose and comb your hair.

Hmmm…

Any other things that you can think of that would happen if you had a giraffe neck?

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The KAPE Patrol

I remember starting many clubs as a kid, but the one that probably lasted the longest was the Kcap patrol (later changed to Kape patrol).

The KCAP patrol (pronounced “CAP”) was something we conjured up about the time I was deeply interested in environmental issues – I was probably 10 or 11. KCAP stood for “Kid Cop Animal Pollution” patrol. The original Kcap patrol consisted of Me, my best friend Nathan, my sister Shelly, and probably whoever else happened to be lingering around that day. We started it one day when we discovered that Mike, one of our bully neighbors, was setting off fireworks on people’s lawns. We decided we needed some kind of patrol to protect the neighborhood from such bandits. So we conjured up a quick patrol, made a few membership codes, and got out our skateboards. We rode on our knees, not being very steady on our feet – and rolled down the street, looking for trouble. Fortunately or unfortunately, we never found any. We did find one firework on a neighbor’s lawn, but couldn’t find the culprit. Fireworks were a violation of our new pollution code, and we intended to bring a stop to it.

We never saw any more signs of trouble, so we called off the case.

A few months later, we changed the name of our patrol to the KAPE patrol, using the same pronunciation as before, but this time it stood for “Kid’s Animal, Plant, Environmental” patrol. We thought this a much more inclusive name, and we voted unanimously on it’s implementation. We also re-designated it’s members. Now it consisted of me, Shelly, Nathan, my other sister Maria, and eventually my younger brother Jake. We held weekly meetings and made plans of how to save the world. The KAPE patrol had many meeting places, but by far, the best was the junk house.

One day we were playing at Nathan’s house, having a jolly time, when Nathan’s dad came out and spoiled our fun by telling Nathan he had to pick up the toys and junk around the yard and put them in the shed area. The shed area was the leftover foundations of what used to be a shed, and which was now a 10′ X 10′ area that they used to simply put stuff. Devastated for having to put our activities on hold, we decided to use the task to our advantage.

We started by gathering the larger junk – especially the large flat items, such as screen doors, child-gates, and wood flaps, and made the basic frame for a club-house. We made sure it had enough room to fit the whole KAPE patrol. Then we piled the rest of the junk around the frame, including bikes, old Christmas trees, chains, yard toys, and tools, leaving only a small inconspicuous opening in the back. When we finished, it looked like one massive junk-pile. The yard was clean, and we had the best hideout in the neighborhood! We climbed inside, and found it to be a spacious and well secreted clubhouse. We posted lookouts and located enough peak-holes to spy out Nathan’s backyard, our backyard, and the side porch where his parents would likely come out looking for him. We assigned each member of the KAPE patrol a different lookout spot.

That clubhouse lasted a long time – until Nathan’s younger siblings discovered it. Then Nathan’s parents tore it down, considering it to be a safety hazard. Disappointed, we moped about it for awhile – that is, until we learned how to make a wikiup in the backyard… but that’s another story.