Why I Do Not Support Gay Marriage

This life is not the beginning of our existence, and death is not the end of it. In fact, this life is a very short part of our eternal existence.

It is an eternal principle that family consists of a man and a woman with their children. It is also an eternal principle that every man has always been a man, and every woman has always been a woman. Likewise, every man will always be a man, and every woman will always be a woman.

The few occasions where there is a physical defect in which a baby is born with either no sexual organs or both male and female organs does not change the eternal identity of that child, which includes his or her gender.

Gender is part of our eternal identity, and according to eternal principles, marriage is to be between a man and a woman. No other combination is a marriage in the eternal sense, and therefore no other combination can last forever. No matter what the government decrees, that eternal principle will not change.

For those who live a life in accordance with eternal principles, a simple mortal marriage is the seed that grows into an eternal marriage in the next life. No other seed will grow into an eternal marriage. There is no way for it to happen. Just as a pebble planted and watered cannot grow, a marriage between two people of the same gender cannot grow into an eternal marriage, and will end with death.

The sad part about this is that those who are in such marriages do not realize that the end result of their choice is only suffering. Part of that suffering will come when they realize that what they once thought of as an inborn orientation was only a mortal challenge that ends with death.

Many people think their tendencies are part of their identity, and ever will be. They think their attraction to their own gender is part of who they are.

Certainly such tendencies have a great impact on them. Certainly they lead to almost unbearable longings that seem like they can only be relieved by either sin or death. Certainly this is a trial that can seem insurmountable.

But this life is not intended to be easy. Our trials are intended to help us realize the extent of our potential. We will never know how strong we are until we face our biggest challenges and overcome them.

The agency and choices of the individual are stronger than life itself with ALL its inherent challenges.

Someone who faces the trial of same gender attraction faces a difficult trial – perhaps even comparable to the trials faced by someone who is quadriplegic, or someone who has lost every person that they ever cared for, or someone living on the streets with mental illness.

Gratefully, God has provided that all of these people, by living faithful to His commandments and enduring their trials well, can in the next life receive every blessing denied them in this short life. For those who are truly faithful to God, these blessings will be accompanied by more and greater blessings than they can now imagine. There is no suffering in this life that will not be well compensated for in the next life if we are simply willing to follow the commandments of God.

Some feel that God will accept them the way that they are, and that He will love them and bless them with all the blessings He has to offer regardless of who they marry. But God doesn’t break His own laws. He teaches the eternal, unchanging principles, and allows His children to choose whether or not to follow them. He even allows them the freedom of choice whether or not to believe them. But He does not remove the eternal consequences of those choices.

To anyone, anywhere that is in a same gender relationship, I plead with you: consider the eternal nature of life. Consider that the way you see things now is not the way you will always see things. The way you feel now is not the way you’ll always feel. You may have tendencies and attraction towards people of your gender. You do not have to act on those feelings. Know that in time, if only in the next life, those feelings will pass, and if you have followed the Lord’s commandments, the true and eternal nature of attraction will return to you. That may seem impossible to you now, but it’s true. Your power of choice is stronger than your tendencies.

I am not suggesting that you marry someone of the opposite gender in hopes that you will someday be attracted to them. I am suggesting that you stay close to the Lord and He will be with you. If you stay close to Him, He will guide you and give you all the help you need.

If my desire to save people from suffering can be called intolerant, so be it. If it is bigotry to make an effort to establish laws that the same people will someday be grateful for, I guess I’m a bigot. But I won’t just look the other way while people hurt themselves. And in this case, those who try to redefine marriage may also be hurting generations to come.

Read the follow up entry on this topic

40 thoughts on “Why I Do Not Support Gay Marriage

  1. Wonderful post. Sometimes the truth is hard for people to hear but it’s still the truth. I’m glad there are people like you who aren’t afraid to speak it.

  2. What is your doctrinal basis that homosexuality is something that will be ‘cured’ with the resurrection? No prophet or apostle has said so specifically that I am aware of. Gay people are born gay so it’s reasonable lacking clear direction from the prophet and apostles that this too might be part of their eternal make up. Even the church has realized this after their misguided attempts to ‘cure’ homosexuality in members, have them act the part of straight person. There are more than a few broken marriages with children involved as a direct result of the counsel given to these gay members.

    Possibly it’s a show stopper and since they will never be able to truly live the new and everlasting covenant of marriage their progression is limited. However does that mean we should deny them happiness of a loving committed relationship in this life? Blocking gay marriage isn’t going to do anything to decrease or increase homosexuality. Being gay isn’t something you can just develop by hanging around gay people, just like gay people can’t really develop straight feelings by hanging around straight people. Despite all the social/familial/religious pressure to be straight, gay people are still gay.

    Perhaps it’s possible that the saints aren’t ready or asking the right questions of God to receive further light and revelation. Though I don’t know that it will be full fellowship to our gay brothers and sisters. Much like the priesthood ban to black members turned out to be the result of cultural acceptance of racism as opposed to a divine exclusion. One that members including Elder Bruce McConkie twisted the scriptures to try and understand and justify the ban. The leaders of this church will not lead us astray, we’ve been told, but that doesn’t make them infallible, Joseph Smith among others have told us. Perhaps it is this mistaken belief in authority that is not truly divine, but holding on to the cultural norms that it takes the saints longer than the general population to give equal rights to all people.

    Elder Oaks advises parents to, decide for themselves, but perhaps be wary of being seen in public with their gay child(ren) as it might show that they support their lifestyle. I hardly believe that is the response our Saviour would give. He didn’t have any problem dining with the sinners and publicans. Oaks also suggests limiting access to younger siblings as though that might influence them to be gay or straight. Again psychological/physical evidence points that gay people are born gay and their environment does little to influence their orientation.

    We claim the right to worship our God how we will, and give others the right to worship God how they will. If their beliefs do not lead them to believe that homosexuality is a sin than Mormons denying gay marriage would be infringing on their beliefs. That is contrary to one of the core tenants of our faith as Joseph Smith spelled them out.

    History shows us, and the bible backs this up that polygamy has long been practiced and part of the worshippers of the Judeo-Christian God. Proposition 8 would out law that as well. Doesn’t it strike you the least bit odd to be championing something that would make an outlaw of Joseph Smith and many other early leaders of the church.

    Or is this just the natural course for a group of people once persecuted for their marriage beliefs to turn around and persecute others?

    As Maria said, it’s probably easy for you like so many others to espouse your views removed from a friend or family member that is gay. For people in that situation the church’s answers that are sufficient for you, just don’t cut it. They see the hurt, confusion and pain these people suffer and that the currently revealed positions lack true charity and love for gay people.

  3. Thank you for your comments. I think it’s important to have discussions like we are doing in order to increase understanding and awareness of all aspect of the issues we are talking about.

    In an interview with the church’s public affairs department, Elder Wickman of the 70 and Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the twelve apostles were asked a number of questions about same-gender attraction.
    Elder Wickman brought up a question that is sometimes asked by those who are attracted to those of their own gender, “Is this something I’m stuck with forever? What bearing does this have on eternal life? If I can somehow make it through this life, when I appear on the other side, what will I be like?”

    He then responds to this question as follows:

    “Gratefully, the answer is that same-gender attraction did not exist in the pre-earth life and neither will it exist in the next life. It is a circumstance that for whatever reason or reasons seems to apply right now in mortality, in this nano-second of our eternal existence.
    “The good news for somebody who is struggling with same-gender attraction is this: 1) It is that ‘I’m not stuck with it forever.’ It’s just now. Admittedly, for each one of us, it’s hard to look beyond the ‘now’ sometimes. But nonetheless, if you see mortality as now, it’s only during this season. 2) If I can keep myself worthy here, if I can be true to gospel commandments, if I can keep covenants that I have made, the blessings of exaltation and eternal life that Heavenly Father holds out to all of His children apply to me. Every blessing — including eternal marriage — is and will be mine in due course.”

    Elder Oaks then commented on this quote, saying, “Let me just add a thought to that. There is no fullness of joy in the next life without a family unit, including a husband, a wife, and posterity. Further, men are that they might have joy. In the eternal perspective, same-gender activity will only bring sorrow and grief and the loss of eternal opportunities.”

    The whole interview can be found at http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/public-issues/same-gender-attraction

    Some look at the question of same-sex marriage as a matter of civil rights. While he was President of the church, President Gordon B. Hinckley talked about this, and I agree with him. He said:

    “Latter-day Saints are working as part of a coalition to safeguard traditional marriage from forces in our society which are attempting to redefine that sacred institution. God-sanctioned marriage between a man and a woman has been the basis of civilization for thousands of years. There is no justification to redefine what marriage is. Such is not our right, and those who try will find themselves answerable to God.
    “Some portray legalization of so-called same-sex marriage as a civil right. This is not a matter of civil rights; it is a matter of morality. Others question our constitutional right as a church to raise our voice on an issue that is of critical importance to the future of the family. We believe that defending this sacred institution by working to preserve traditional marriage lies clearly within our religious and constitutional prerogatives. Indeed, we are compelled by our doctrine to speak out.”

    This is not to say that we are to be bigots, and treat people who are gay or lesbian as anything less than the eternal children of God that they are. But it does mean we reach out to them as the Savior did, and invite them to come unto Him. President Hinckley continued:

    “Nevertheless, and I emphasize this, I wish to say that our opposition to attempts to legalize same-sex marriage should never be interpreted as justification for hatred, intolerance, or abuse of those who profess homosexual tendencies, either individually or as a group. As I said from this pulpit one year ago, our hearts reach out to those who refer to themselves as gays and lesbians. We love and honor them as sons and daughters of God. They are welcome in the Church. It is expected, however, that they follow the same God-given rules of conduct that apply to everyone else, whether single or married.”
    “I commend those of our membership who have voluntarily joined with other like-minded people to defend the sanctity of traditional marriage …You are contributing your time and talents in a cause that in some quarters may not be politically correct but which nevertheless lies at the heart of the Lord’s eternal plan for His children, just as those of many other churches are doing.”
    Gordon B. Hinckley, “Why We Do Some of the Things We Do,” Ensign, Nov 1999, 52

    For any who would like to learn more about the church’s stand on this subject, here is a link to a list of resources that the church has provided:
    http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bbd508f54922d010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&index=19&sourceId=096d19a4e80b2110VgnVCM100000176f620a____

  4. Where I work many of the young people were reacting to the news out of California re prop 8. They were planning to attend the demonstration on Friday evening at Temple Square.

    One of the remarks said over and over was to “check your facts”.

    So I thought I would refer to the church newsroom (at lds.org) to give me some information, as soon the students will be in my office to ask questions. The interview with Elder Oaks is an excellent resource.

    One thought that is clear to my mind is that the purpose of the creation of Earth is to provide spirit children of Heavenly Father a place to have a physical experience. A place to get a body. The entire purpose of earth for families. The procreative powers of a man and a woman are god given for this purpose.

  5. Chas,

    This is great reading. I completely agree with your comments and thinking. Its hard to be labeled as being intolerant when you are trying to be nothing but tolerant. Thanks for directing me toward your blog and also for reading mine. I do like you music a lot too. Good luck with the Summer Showcase competition.

  6. I would just like to thank you for this post, I really enjoyed it. I personally struggle with Same Sex Attraction and at times am overwhelmed with the ignorance of the world. It’s very difficult for people to think that opinions or experiences are absolute (If that makes sense… :S sorry). The world sees Gay Marriage as only a two sided battle. A battle between the Gay world (Including those that are not homosexual but have loved one they want to support in their decisions), and the Heterosexual world (that believe marriage to be intended for men and women to create families through creating life. At times these two sides are quite ignorant. The heterosexual world may be a bit ignorant about same gender attraction, whether they believe it’s a choice, or it’s evil, or whatever it might be. The gay world my be a bit ignorant in that they believe everyone who has these attractions sees them as God given, unchangable, natural, healthy, enjoyable, etc. etc.

    I however, am stuck in the middle, not able to make my voice heard. I struggle with Same Gender Attraction, yet, I did not choose this. Giving into my attractions will not create peace & happiness for me, however it will create sadness and unfulfilled potential. I do not wish to be married to a man. I most definitely desire to be able to have a strong intimate relationship with a women, and create a family. I will do all that I can to overcome this trial, grow, and become the man & father Heavenly Father intended me to be. I pray that the Gay world will be less extreme and selfish on the topic of attraction and rights. And I pray the heterosexual world will be less inpatient and judging of what defines same gender attraction.

    I am so thankful for the Knowledge that we are all children of God, and the he has knowledge and understanding of all things, especially our trials.

    ~Shad
    Jehovah Jireh!

  7. OH! I almost forgot, if there is anyone that would like to learn more about those that have same-gender attraction but wish to change/have changed, here are a few resources for you.

    http://www.narth.com

    http://www.evergreeninternational.org

    http://www.genderwholeness.com

    http://www.peoplecanchange.com

    All of this will have references to other organizations that focus on helping others resolve issues with same-gender attraction. I’ve personally found so much success and change in my life. I do still experience same gender attraction, but on a much lower level, and I have also been able to find attraction to women. No matter if the same gender attraction ceases or not, I am committed, and desire infinitely, to be able to have an Eternal companion that I love, and with who I may create an eternal family.

    Shad

  8. Thanks so much, Shad, for your comments. I can’t imagine what a challenge that would be, and it’s nice to have these resources to help those who would like to make the effort to change.

    I admire your courage and determination. It’s people like you that give us all the courage to overcome those things in our lives that we know we need to change. We’re mortal, and imperfect, and will have challenges all our lives, but the Savior can help us deal with those challenges. Excellent comments! Thank you.

    – Chas

  9. Why gays should not be allowed ______:

    16. Gay culture is a new fad created by the liberal media to undermine long-standing traditions. We know this is true because gay sex did not exist in ancient Greece and Rome.

    15. There are plenty of straight families looking to adopt, and every unwanted child already has a loving family. This is why foster care does not exist and gays make awful parents.

    14. Conservatives know best how to create strong families. That is why it is not true that Texas and Mississippi have the highest teen birthrates, and Massachusetts, Vermont, and New Hampshire have the lowest. This is a myth spread by the liberal media.

    13. Marriage is a religious institution, defined by churches. This is why atheists do not marry. Christians also never get a divorce.

    12. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why our society has no single parents.

    11. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

    10. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

    9. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

    8. Gay marriage should be decided by the people and their elected representatives, not the courts. The framers checked the courts, which represent mainstream public opinion, with legislatures created to protect the rights of minorities from the tyranny of the majority. Interference by courts in this matter is inappropriate, just as it has been every time the courts have tried to hold back legislatures pushing for civil rights.

    7. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

    6. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because “separate but equal” institutions are a good way to satisfy the demands of uppity minority groups.

    5. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

    4. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

    3. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

    2. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

    1. Gay Marriage will kill the dinosaurs.

  10. WHY do BIBLE THUMPERS only focus on the gay issue? Why do the BIBLE THUMPERS not look at the straight marriage issues that are so destroyed statistically speaking?

    In other words:
    – Keep the focus on yourself.
    – Live and let live (especially if it does not hurt you or anyone else).
    – Judge not thy neighbor.

    WHY do BIBLE THUMPERS forget these passages when focusing on the gays? These passages always are mystifying and frightening to say the least yet these laws are no longer followed:
    Leviticus 20:9
    If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death.
    20:10
    If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.
    (Can you think of any STRAIGHT politicians, football/basketball/golf players, movie stars that have not been put to death? Is anyone holding a bibile to their face(s)?)
    Deuteronomy 22:20-1
    If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl’s virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.
    Exodus 35:2
    For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day shall be your holy day, a Sabbath of rest to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it must be put to death.
    (Did anybody work on a Saturday recently? Shall I warm up the electric chair?)
    Leviticus 19:19
    Do not wear clothing woven of two different materials.
    (Like cotton/polyester worn by all conservative Americans who shop at Kmart? This is a Sin?)
    Leviticus 19:27
    Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip the edges of your beard.
    (How many Catholic priests do you see with long hair and beards? Hmmmm.?)

    Can you spot any double standards in the church? I say, “AMEN!!!”

  11. Sven,

    I understand what you are saying, and I don’t expect you to simply believe what I’ve said. I’m not making a political argument, though the gay marriage issue has become quite political. I am making a spiritual statement – sharing what I believe, and why I believe it. I do not believe gay marriage is right, and I believe that those who engage in homosexual behavior will one day come to regret it, whether in this life or the next. I don’t say this to convince you, but simply to tell you why I feel the way I do.

    I also understand why you would say that I can believe what I want and that I should let others believe as they want. That makes sense. But from my point of view, watching a person take a glass of water which I know to be poisoned will still prompt me to act, even if the person doesn’t know me and believes they are acting in complete safety. Nor do I expect the person to automatically believe me that there really is poison in the water – especially if they are terribly thirsty.

    If I were to believe what I do, and not speak out, I would be a hypocrite. Incidentally, I am just as concerned about the problems in straight marriages. The divorce rates reflect a great deal of trouble in the world. I am not one who would want divorce to be unavailable, but some of the problems that are leading to divorce are serious, and can’t be lightly ignored. Adultery, abuse, pornography, and cruelty are all major problems, and will lead to regret just as surely as homosexuality.

    You are right in saying that living the law of Moses is no longer expected of us. Jesus Christ fulfilled the law and gave us a higher law. But even with the few verses in the New Testament that speak out against homosexuality, the real source of what God wants of us today comes through modern revelation, given to living prophets, and confirmed in the hearts of individuals world-wide. Again, I don’t expect everyone who reads this to automatically believe what I’m saying, but I know that God speaks to living prophets, and the prophets have made it unmistakeably clear that homosexuality is wrong, and that marriage can only be right if it is between a man and a woman.

    The prophets are not putting words in Gods mouth. God has commanded His living prophets to teach these things. I am sharing what the prophets have said, and what I know to be true. I realize that many people will be offended by what I say. That’s okay. But I can’t let it go unsaid. I can’t stop people from drinking poison, but I’ll do all I can to warn them. I will also vote to keep the poison illegal, but ultimately people have their own choices.

    It’s okay that we disagree on the issue. I understand your point of view, and I hope you can understand mine.

  12. I respect your opinion Chas, and everyone who has commented thus far.

    I also would like to sincerely extend my condolences to those who are accused of being intolerant and are not.

    Religion is a difficult argument to overcome for the recognition and allowance of same-sex marriage. To try and counter the points made is almost impossible for you are not stepping on sturdy ground. To try and disprove or otherwise discredit religious arguments would be hard to maintain and might even involve experiences with which we have very little capacity to handle.

    I must admit though, your post made me cry a bit. I do not believe that attractions to the same sex is something to be overcome. I do not believe it is wrong. I also do not believe one’s soul would only find suffering because of it. But these are just my beliefs, shared by others perhaps.

    My goal is not to change your opinion. It is simply to say something, though I am not sure what completely, because if I don’t I will regret simply the act of not doing so.

    Life, quality of the soul, God’s word…. It all seems more complex than what has been preached to me.

    Follow your heart, live by a code, do others right. Forgive, forget, move on. Help, guide, but don’t impose. Question everything. Be patient.

  13. The disguised threat in all of this is that as peoplefight to reduce obesity the knock on effect of all of this then emerges as fitness levels tightens up with no available exercise being taken and more disease becoming prevalent…If Central Governments don’t take a grip soon then we could be facing an obesity problem.

  14. My Noble Noblerex K1,

    I’m not sure it’s fair to suggest that the major cause of obesity is same-sex marriage. But what can we do? With central governments forgetting to take their grip, well, a lot of things can happen… Come on government! Take your grip!

  15. Love knows no borders. Even in the animal kingdom there are same gender preferences. Why would humans be different ?

  16. Chas, and all who have posted on this site,

    I just wanted to make you all aware of a paper on gay marriage. It addresses many of the questions that people have for those who do not support gay marriage, and I feel that it even addresses the comment about “Why do the BIBLE THUMPERS not look at the straight marriage issues that are so destroyed statistically speaking? ”

    Now, I am not a Bible thumper, but I do believe that the problems with divorce in heterosexual marriages will be aggravated by the passage of gay marriage. You will see the correlation through this article: http://www.catholic.com/library/gay_marriage.asp

    I do want to make it clear that I am not Catholic, but I find a lot of logic in many of the things that they discuss, and there are many things that I found enlightening in this article.

  17. God has created each and everyone of us.
    He makes us different for a reason.
    He was the one who made me who and what I am, and so I don’t believe that it would be against His will that I am attracted to people of the same-sex as me.

  18. Dominique,

    I understand what you are saying, but that’s not really what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about being attracted to people of the same sex. I’m talking about living a homosexual lifestyle or marrying someone of the same sex. Doing so is wrong. God has made that very clear, through modern and ancient scripture.

    I think we are blessed to have differences, and some of those differences include tendencies that lead to temptations to act against the will of God. Some are prone to anger, which if not controlled, can lead to abuse. Some are prone to addiction to substances, which can lead to alcoholism and drug abuse. Some are prone to take interest in someone besides their spouse, which, if not controlled, can lead to adultery.

    If a person is prone to one of these things they aren’t acting against God’s will unless they act on those feelings. And if they valiantly resist the temptations that face them, then God will bless them for their faith and determination.

    Thanks for your comment, and thanks so much for keeping it respectful!

  19. I do not support same-sex marriage either, it is just wrong, God made 2 genders for a reason to reproudce, not to ignore one or the other and marry someone of the same sex, it is just wrong, morally wrong

  20. I do not think it wise to make the objection to gay marraige a ‘religious’ perspective. We live in a country that supports the separation of church and state. We also live in a country that should aspire a high standard of moral development. Marraige is recognized by both the state and the church. We will always have the masculine and the feminine. Do we encourage people to be aware enough to recognize the difference and appreciate the balance we can give each other? Marraige is the foundation for peoples lives. Should we encourage marraige to be primarily a spiritual institution or some arrangement until the next better deal comes along. We are already ultra liberal. Why not marry our pet dog next???? If we except gay marraige we should just do away with marraige altogether……

  21. Petals,

    I agree that marriage is the foundation for people’s lives, and I do feel that the religious perspective is not only valid, but absolutely essential. Personally, I see it as a spiritual institution that goes far beyond this mortal life, and has greater consequence than just our personal lives. Marriage is the foundation of human existence, mortal and immortal. I suppose that may sound strange if you are not a religious person, but I believe it to be absolutely true. Marriage is ordained of God.

  22. If you don’t support it, don’t support it. Why take away people’s rights? It’s not like you have to be gay and marry.

    1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

    2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

    3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

    4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

    5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

    6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

    7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

    8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in the world.

    9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

    10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

  23. I love your name!

    I think if you read my posts on this subject carefully, you’ll recognize that I’m not arguing the same points that many anti-gays make. I’m not talking about the effects that gay marriages have on society in this life. I’m talking about how the individuals involved are effected beyond this life. I realize that seems ridiculous to those who don’t believe in the same kind of afterlife as I do. But I have good reason to believe what I do, and if I were not to stand by it, I would be a hypocrite.

    Still, I’ll address the points you are making, setting the sarcasm aside.

    1. Being gay is not part of our eternal nature. Whether or not it’s part of our physical, mortal nature is irrelevant. Whatever challenges we face in mortal life, if we live true to the commandments of God, will be made right in the next life.

    2. The more society accepts and condones homosexual behavior (I’m speaking of acts, not feelings), the more those with that temptation will feel justified in committing immoral acts.

    3. The more society accepts and condones immoral behavior, the more spiritual danger it is in, and the more susceptible they are to worse behavior.

    4. Homosexual behavior has been around for millennia, and has always been condemned by God.

    5. Whatever definition society gives the word marriage, God has only given us one definition. And His definition is based on eternal, unchangeable principles that we ignore at our own peril.

    6. The sexual experience is a wonderful, beautiful experience that strengthens a marriage, and God has taught that it is only to take place between a man and woman, and only after they have made the marriage vows.

    7. See #3. This applies to families, too.

    8. Gay marriage is not supported by God. Every religion has its own ideas about gay marriage, but God has made His feelings on the matter clear.

    9. While a loving mother and father for every child is the ideal, that ideal is not always a possibility. God understands this, and will help us in our individual circumstances. But He does not condone gay marriage.

    10. Maybe society will reach the point where it fully accepts and condones gay marriage, but I fear for the fate of society if this does happen.

  24. Do you ever wonder why you believe the things you do? Why you are so set on feeling the ways that you do? It’s great to speak the way you feel; it’s also good to understand why you back so vehemently statements like “the sad part about this is that those who are in such marriages do not realize that the end result of their choice is only suffering. Part of that suffering will come when they realize that what they once thought of as an inborn orientation was only a mortal challenge that ends with death.” I know I can’t prove this statement to be false, much like you can’t prove it to be true. Yet, you talk like it’s fact. To actually have the audacity to claim people are headed towards suffering as a result of engaging in something you personally don’t agree with is disrespectful and uneeded in this world. Have your beliefs, and speak your mind. But please find some value in reason and not just belief. I don’t feel as if you should propose such “facts” like your statement above that can not be proven, even if it is your opinion; alas, that’s just MY opinion. There really is nothing that can be said to people like us to effectively communicate though, or that’s how it feels to me. So set on our own understandings, nothing will defer us from considering anything else because we are already so sure of our ideas. I believe cheating is wrong, and you believe the quoted statement above. It’s all personal perception, which makes all arguments ever presented since the dawn of human life subject to disagreement. That’s fair, I guess, but it’s also frustrating. As frustrating as it is, in regards to this disagreeing comment of mine, I’m sure you can find a way to respond with — in my opinion — something of no substance at all, just judgment that is learned and strongly believed notions about what’s eternal, changeable, real. I personally admit to not knowing what’s eternal, changeable, and real, and do not suggest that’s better. I believe it strives in ultimately creating a happier world though, while yours causes for a more conflictive and restrictive world (just my opinion). In any case, good luck to you in life. No one is stopping you from believing such things, so do so. Obviously, you don’t need to be told so to do so, but nonetheless: don’t repress reason as to have stronger faith. I feel that is what you’re doing, and I feel people like you are unfair and stubborn. I understand I can be viewed in the same way by you, and am very aware. So let’s be stubborn and believe what we think is right, because there really is nothing more we can do but express ourselves, which is what we’re doing.

  25. Great point. I’m an attorney in NC, and there’s a (fairly lberial, or at least middle-of-the-road) judge in my district who, at least in abuse/neglect cases, occasionally requires a parent who is “living in sin” to marry his or her partner prior to regaining custody. I’ll have to ask him about this issue next time I see him.

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